Oprah Interview withJohn of God by Crystal Church

Coming home..................it is not just crossing over it can be a re-birth

Oprah is a very influential woman and her latest story about John of God, really caught my attention. I don’t have cable TV so I read the interview online. What really caught my attention was a statement from the Dr. that Oprah had on, Dr. Rediger, who met and experienced being in the realm of John of God. Dr. Rediger said, “Whatever is happening at the Casa with John of God, I believe it's not about the phenomena or even about the healer—it's about a shift that happens to these people internally, spiritually or psychologically.

The above statement got me to thinking about my recent journey. I have been de-toxing off an anti-depressant that I have been on for a while and it has really had a profound effect on me. If I used one word to describe it, it would have to be ‘clarity’. Just a bit of background information into why clarity would be an important feeling, I am a recovering addict and I have been sober for 4 years. I desire to be completely free of chemicals and I decided that since I have done so much spiritual work in the past few years and I am mentally strong, now is the time to trust my intuition and know that I can go off the chemical that helped me off and on for many years.

The link between what John of God is doing and what I am experiencing is this……an ordinary man who is healing with his love and faith is showing us that our bodies are just merely the vehicle for which we live on earth. The real power of us lies in our souls. As we learn how to tap into this power of our souls……as John of God has, we begin to heal ourselves and other. I too have tapped into my own power. It does not lie in a substance or drug, it lies in our ability to learn and trust that we have the answers we need inside of us.

As I have been exploring my past and looking at the why’s of my addiction, I have realized that my powerful self was protecting me from my environment from a very early age. As an infant when chaos came into my life I had to fight or flight. I could not fight and the only flight I could do was internal. I was merely a child less than 1 year old, so my own amazing soul changed my biochemistry to keep me safe and alive. As this change in chemistry occurred, it created an altered state that set the stage for addiction. I grew up and craved that altered state because it was familiar and comfortable. Add normal teenage experimental stage and you quickly have a drug addicted person.

So, in going back to my clarity… for the first time, perhaps in my life, I am clear. I am feeling emotions that have been muted and diluted for years. I am not afraid of them because I have learned that you can truly heal what you feel, but only if you feel it. This new me, that is close to the child I was born as, is tapped in to my feelings. I am fully integrated with my physical self, where as before I spent many years trying to get as far away from reality as possible. What caused the shift and the clarity? A conscious choice to feel. A desire to love and understand myself instead of belittles and tear myself down. I decided that I could not have been born into this world a bad person who wanted to be addicted to drugs and alcohol and make bad choices. Along the way I met my life coach and mentor Maia Berens who introduced me to a philosophy I quickly adopted. She told me we are responsible for everything that happens to us. So, I chose to take responsibility for everything that has happened to me since I arrived here on earth and once I did that……..I could see that I could also chose a better life.

Today, at the end of an uncomfortable detox, and in the midst of a sober life I realized….I am here, I am home. Amazingly enough coming home didn’t mean death for me. It was quite the opposite. It was a rebirth. I am like John of God, a normal person, who tapped into their own spiritual power and used it to heal. I have used it to heal myself. I like him, feel my work, my change, my shift, has been a divine intervention. It is like a channeling of information and placement of the proper people to enter my life when and where I needed it. I can clearly see that the power and potential of our spiritual self is unlimited in my opinion, and I plan to carry this message through out my work as an emotion based personal development life coach.

So, let me end with a statement from the doctor who experienced John of God……..In terms of his own experience with John of God, Dr. Rediger says it's been life-changing. "Perhaps the real heart within us is not just a pump, he says.”Perhaps the real heart within us is about love and faith. Perhaps the physical body is not who we really are. Perhaps we are these invisible souls walking around, and the body is just an instrument or metaphor for something we are trying to learn."

Self Confidence By Maia Berens You University Creator

Is Self Confidence Elusive For You?

Boost Your Self Confidence

Self confidence is all about how you feel towards yourself and how confident you are in your life and the situations you encounter. High self esteem means you truly love yourself and who you are inside.

For example,

• I know I am a truly good person.
• I know I wish everyone well. I also know I am an authentic person.
• I know there is no big gap between what I think and feel about something or someone and how I act.

I love those qualities within myself. I very much like who I am as a person.

Self confidence may change on a regular basis depending on the things that are happening in your life on a daily basis. The change could even be linked to not enough sleep or having a very stressful few days or even hours. Everyone has good days and bad days but if most of your days tend to be bad and you feel stuck where you are and not willing to try new things, you probably have low self confidence and, my guess is, you most likely know it. I suffered from low self confidence for years and I certainly knew it.

The good news is that you can build your self confidence but it will likely take time. With some work and a serious commitment there are techniques that you can use to build your own self confidence. You will find many of them on this site.

First you must commit to remaining positive. A positive attitude is crucial to the success of building your self confidence. Then you must stop listening to anything negative that you or anyone else says. And since this is mostly an inside job, the voices you have floating around in your head, are the most damaging or most beneficial. Good self messages sound positive. Low self esteem inner messages are negative, critical and have lots of shoulds in them.

1. Don’t allow yourself to compare yourself to other people. You are your own unique person with your own purpose for being here and it doesn’t matter what others do, say or accomplish. It has nothing to do with you – except as far as you let it run your life.
2. Associate with positive people.
3. Spend your time doing work and activities that you truly love.
4. Do not go over your past mistakes in your head. Forgive yourself and move on.

Start small and celebrate all of your successes. As time goes on, your small successes will become larger successes and you will be on the road to much higher self confidence and many more opportunities to be happy.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. Robert Frost

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain

Women Self Help by Maia Berens Founder of You University

Become Your Own Life Coach – Women Self Help

Women Self Help

Of course being a life coach and having had the great benefits that great life coaching offers, I believe having a life coach is a helpful – sometimes vital – addition to reaching your goals and overcoming challenges in your life. However, for a lot of people it isn’t an affordable option.

The good news is there are ways to overcome these obstacles and become your own life coach. These women self help starters will help you accomplish this on your own. It is much easier to stay focused on your goals and achieve them when you have them laid out in full view.

Suggestion 1 : Start with two notebooks. On the first page of the notebook, write “To Do Now List” and make sure you leave a few blank pages after it. Now, take ten minutes and think of every little thing that you can think of that you want to do. Skip a few pages and begin to list all the things you would like to add or change about your life like buying a new house or car, improving your self esteem, regularly exercising or investigating a new career. Label this your “Dreams and Goals List”. After you have listed all of them, go further in the notebook and describe in detail, the changes you want to make. Describe the kind of house or car, where you want to go, what kind of career, the things you want to do in as much details as you can on a separate page for each.

Continue asking yourself questions and avoid any negative thinking until you feel like you have a good overall picture of what you want and when.

Now, take the second notebook and go back to your to do list and pick the top five priorities and list them in the second notebook. You may want to include the benefits of each one to your goals. Begin working on the tasks in the second notebook and refer to the first notebook frequently to keep on track.

Suggestion 2 : Invite a buddy to go on this journey with you.

When you find a buddy you have found:

1. Someone who shares the joys and difficulties of growth along with you.
2. Someone who is totally interested in what you have to say.
3. Someone who will be able to see your growth and tell you what they see – many times even before you are aware of it yourself.
4. Someone who will tell you if you are tricking yourself or are in denial.
5. Someone who will be able to tell you if you are being true to your Real Self.
pg. 48 excerpt from Once Upon a Time There Was You: Three Magic Secrets to Finding Your Real Self

Suggestion 3 : Keep coming back to this site for women self help and tips – or better yet, sign up for the RSS feed and let the updates come to you. Part of the purpose of this site is to help you help yourself. Enjoy!

Success is a journey not a destination

WHY HURT? – Expressing Emotional Pain

Expressing Your Emotional Pain

Are you afraid of your feelings?

You could have looked at this subtitle and thought one of two things: “What’s the big deal? We all know how to deal with our feelings” or “Yes. I think my feelings are too big or to0 many or too scary”. For those with the second comment: sometimes when we find a challenge, like in addressing our emotional pain, their are benefits. Only, if we look.

I don’t know what it’s like in other states on other freeways but you’ve probably heard we have lots of traffic here in L.A.

Well, I’m scared of driving on the freeway and so I usually don’t unless someone else is driving. A couple of weeks ago my husband was driving in pretty heavy weekend traffic going south on the 405. Sometimes when we drive we chat about this and that (in between grousing about the traffic and drivers). This day we were chatting about how lucky we are to have been trained how to deal with our feelings and emotional pain when along comes a license plate saying WHY HURT.

WHY HURT can mean more than one thing. It can mean:

• First- “You don’t have to hurt” and I agree with that. We can make a choice. Unfortunately, many think they can’t, but still, WHY HURT?
• Second (this is the reason it struck me so)- A reason to feel hurt (if you are really in touch with your feelings and know how to let them flow as they were meant to) could mean you are on your way to healing your emotional pain. HURT is milder than ANGER, on it’s way to having one know their FEARs and a bit closer to LOVE and FORGIVENESS.

So I ask you: “Why hurt?” you are so close to being in a place of love and forgiveness. Why not learn and move on and become that much closer with yourself? In the pursuit of not feeling our feelings, at the very least we become disconnected from ourselves and have problems relating to others deeply and well. Why hurt?

Accomplishment Exercise by You University Founder, Maia Berens

Accomplishment Exercise – A Writing Exercise**

WHAT AND HOW HAVE YOU ACCOMPLISHED WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING AREAS?

1. I have been willing to make these changes regarding my work or career and this is what happened ……. Date it, mark down the page. You could call this “Accomplishment Exercise”.

a. What are the changes and what are the results?

2. I have been willing to make these changes to heal emotionally and this is what happened:

a. What are the changes and what are the results?

3. I have been willing to make these changes regarding physical exercise, health or weight loss and this is what happened:

a. What are the changes and what are the results?

4. I have been willing to make these changes in my relationships and this is what happened:

a. What are the changes and what are the results?

5. I have been willing to make these changes in finances – paying off debt or creating savings for something I want and this is what happened:

a. What are the changes and what are the results?

6. I have been willing to make these changes in overcoming difficulties in or from childhood and this is what happened:

a. What are the changes and what are the results?

7. I have been willing to make these changes in my education and this is what happened:

a. What are the changes and what are the results?

8. Any area I did not cover. What have you accomplished?

OK. NOW THAT WE HAVE DETERMINED THAT YOU ARE AN ACCOMPLISHED AND COMMITTED PERSON, WHY NOT ACTUALLY CHOOSE TO MAKE THIS COMMITMENT TO YOUR TRANSFORMATIONAL PROCESS REMEMBERING THAT THIS IS A LIFETIME JOURNEY – A WAY TO CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON YOUR LIFE SO THAT IT IS ALL ACCOMPLISHMENT. AND THERE IS NEITHER A DEADLINE OR ANY PRESSURE. GROWTH IS THE NATURAL STATE OF INFINITE BEINGS EVEN IN OUR HUMAN EXPERIENCE.

You have already seen that commitment to the practice of transformation is vital to the process. This commitment is a promise to yourself that you will stay the course so that you can give yourself the best possible life.

WHEN COMMITMENT FLAGS, IT’S TO YOUR VALUES THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO LOOK TO PICK IT RIGHT UP AGAIN.

Jacoby Ford - Finding the Right Attitude by Crystal Church

The Attitude of Gratitude Will Put You On Top!
By You University Life Coach Crystal Church

I was feeling grateful for my career tonight and thought I would blog about it. Just prior to writing I happened to go see what the top trending searches for google were this weekend and this is what I read.........

"Rookie Jacoby Ford hauled in six passes for 148 yards to lead the Raiders to a 23-20 overtime victory over the Chiefs in Week 9. It doesn't get much better as far as breakout games go."

I said to myself, wow, this guys a rookie and he is the big news in this weekends football stories. Very cool. but even more so how does this relate to me and my life coaching career. Well, I thought it seemed obvious, but let me go into detail anyway. I am the ROOKIE in life coaching and I feel like the way our business is going and the way we are attracting clients doesn't really get much better as far as breakouts go!

I am loving creating YOU University's allaboutlifecoaching.com with the founder and creator Maia Berens. It is the biggest natural high I have ever encountered since high school sports. I dream about it awake and asleep, it feels so right. All of the pieces just keep falling into place perfectly and everything happens just when it should. I heard a word today in the free online community where I journal ( http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/community-cost-gain) that comes to mind, and it is serendipity. Which by definition means, good luck in making unexpected and fortunate discoveries. That is the experience I am having!

I am sure that football player and I have that same 'on top of the world' feeling because we are both doing what we love and are ON our game! With the right attitude and a mindset of gratitude we can stay in the top ranks and get our individual messages out the the world. My message is that you can create the life you want. All of your misfortunes are really gifts when looked at from the right perspective. Once we step out of being a victim and see our life as the amazing journey it really is .......we can be grateful.

You University Founder Maia Berens on Coach Certification

Life Coach Certification Or NOT

I’m involved in a life coaching forum and was perusing the entries today and found an online conversation fraught with frustrations and stress. The stress and frustration had to do with a coach’s inability to share their wisdom, knowledge and experience with the client. They had their own life coach certification. One of the posts was something like this,

” … unfortunately, as (a certain brand) coach we are not supposed to impart our wisdom. We are supposed to draw it out of client. I bite my tongue because I want to share some of what has been talked about here, but I am in life coach certification right now and my supervisor reminds me that I am supposed to be wisdomless and bring it out of the client because they are naturally creative, resourceful and whole.”

This is exactly why I haven’t gone through a formal life coach certification program.

I believe my clients are naturally creative, resourceful and whole also. They’re wise enough to seek support when they are going through challenges, change and transition. It seems to me it is almost unkind and callous to withhold these thoughts from a client.

So as a result, my style of coaching includes mentoring in addition to coaching (asking powerful questions) which means besides helping the client plumb the depths of their own intuition, knowledge, inner guidance and wisdom, I often advise, counsel, guide and/or teach.

I continuously remind the client that they will know and that I am not them nor in them so I could be completely wrong but I have found that they come to rely and respect what I offer them since I too have often walked in their shoes and continue to walk my own path of transformation daily.

Having lived 67 years and consciously pursued a personal and spiritual growth path and being an acute observer of the human condition – mine and others – I feel it is my responsibility and joy to share that with those who ask. The counsel that I give can not be found through life coach certification but through life itself.

A Challenge to Find Simplicity

The Secret #2 A Friend In Deed

Resistance by You University Life Coach, Savina Cavallo

What is this thing we call resistance?
I'm experiencing resistance in several areas of my life. Such as, resistance:

* to taking the actions needed to move forward and grow my Life Coach practice;
* to allowing myself to try out new things;
* to exercising consistently and not eat sweets daily!

I know these actions are in my best interest, yet even though I know and get excited about them, I don't realize them. I feel I let myself down and I feel awful.
Where does this resistance come from? Why am I doing this? I don't really know. Yet. I do know it's there and I don't like it. Should I resist resistance? No. I prefer to learn from it and find the answers to these questions...answers that are within me. I've been journaling and working with my life coach to arrive at a place of understanding and acceptance.
One good thing is I'm growing in self knowledge. I now know I have resistance to the good that's for me. I was unaware of this. I want to learn from it, as it has been a part of me...a learned response to something deeper that is beginning to surface (fear?).

To The Top Tuesday

Good Validation Overcoming Resistance

When is the need to being validated good and healthy?

We have a connection with the people on this planet. It may be family members, close friends or people we haven't met yet. These people will make some kind of impact on our lives and we impact theirs. As these relationships occur, we start to care what they think. This is validation and in healthy relationships it can be good. It can keep us be accountable for our actions, it can help overcome personal resistance and obstacles, it can help us make important decisions.

When we are working overcoming major resistance or addictions in our lives some of us might need help in staying accountable. Some of us choose coaches, counselors, good friends, or sponsors or all of them to help us stay true to ourselves.

The need for being validated should never over run the need to be true to yourself. Deep down inside you know what is best for you but look to those that remind you of your true self. Those are the people you want when you are being resistant.

Finding Balance

I am reminded today of appreciating opposites. I notice that people don't always appreciate what they have until it is gone. This can go with every aspect of your life. We don't truly appreciate pleasure until we have known pain. We don't love the sunshine until we have been stuck in the rain.

This world reacts to these opposites by finding balance. We are all trying to find balance. As I write this the saying "moderation in all things" pops into my mind.

So how do we find balance with our opposites?
-Moderation in all things- As a recovering addict I know that things in excess can cause great harm. Excess of anything goes against our bodies wanting to find balance.

-Self awareness - Being intuitive of our bodies and our feelings can give us clues as to when we might feel out of balance.

-Self Care -One of the biggest lessons that I have learned through life coaching is concerning self care. Caring for ourselves helps us find balance. Especially, if we have not done the first two suggestions.

SPIRITED WOMAN: First Ever Spirited Woman "Fall" Top 12 Picks! Wow-O-Wow

SPIRITED WOMAN: First Ever Spirited Woman "Fall" Top 12 Picks! Wow-O-Wow

Blog Hop Tuesday

To The Top Tuesday

Mother Teresa 100 Years Old

Mother Teresa would have been 100 years old today. Although I am not Catholic, I believe what she stood for was something that crosses boundaries of religion, sex, age, and time. Her philosophy was backed by her actions. She was an amazing woman who did great things with little money and vast amounts of love.

“It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home, for this is where our love for each other must start” – Mother Teresa

The most important service we will ever do is towards those in our own home. When we serve others we always think of those outside of our home but this is not where change starts. It starts small with little acts of kindness and love towards our spouse, our children, our family. These sometimes tiny acts create ripples of greater love and acceptance.


“Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world” – Mother Teresa

The responsibility we have for our family can get lost with the hustle and bustle of the world. We tend to worry about the thoughts of friends in society, losing our family in the process. When we create a family, they need our greatest love. They deserve the best, when usually we give them the left overs.

I challenge you to make a small unexpected act of love and kindness towards those closest to you. It can make all the difference to them and will fill your heart. Mother Teresa symbolizes the act of love, selflessness, and faith. We have much to thank her for. Let us start showing our gratitude by making a small change.
Love to you all!

Transformational Learning - teaching by example

To me the best teachers lead by example. Perfection isn't required. I see this as a necessity in life coaching. Lives are never going to go exactly as you plan but learning from life helps us grow. That is all I expect from those I learn from.

One of my colleagues and friends, Savina Cavallo has written an amazing blog on the tools she used to work through her worries. Let me give you a little rundown of the article and what I learned from it.

Savina's worry was embedded in her and centered around feelings about herself. She felt a need to be validated by others (not always a bad thing but it can be unhealthy, another topic for another day) and she lacked trust in herself.
The steps she went through to let go:
1)"First and most important was knowing, really knowing, that God is always with me, within me. I shifted from seeing God as condemning and aloof, to God within me, accepting me just as I am."
I love this it is absolutely brilliant. We tend to think God is constantly judging us and forget that he made us the way we are. We are beautiful in our uniqueness and we should trust in Him that He did a good job and has a path for us.

2)"Second, accepting myself JUST AS I AM. I faced shame-based beliefs I had about myself and worked with them instead of suppressing them. I understood that I am unique and important to the greater whole (purpose). I have given myself permission to feel feelings that were lost inside of me for years. I have faced my fears and seen them as just a part of me that I need to work with and not against."
We are all different and we all have our different baggage, feelings and reactions. But we are all lovely in our own way. Loving ourselves is an important step in reclaiming our lives. We are just as important as anyone else.

3)"Third, give myself permission to walk my own path. I asked myself, what do I want? What makes me feel whole and alive?"
Our gifts and talents are individual just like our fingerprints. They make us who we are. In this last step not only is she recognizing her gifts and her own path, but tshe is acknowledging that she needs to do things that make her happy. She needs to take care of herself.

Her article goes into more depth about the specific tools that she has found comforting. I love her way of writing and I can hear her beautiful accent as I read it. This woman has come a long way in her journey. She is willing to learn, grow, and work hard to become her true potential. I can't say enough about her. She is truly "a friend in deed". Follow this link to see the full article:Tools for Releasing Worry

Tools for Releasing Worry by You University Life Coach, Savina Cavallo

Message from Adrienne: Tomorrow I will have a post of my thoughts on this wonderful article. Look forward to seeing you come back!

My mood is very affected by my thoughts and beliefs. Worry is a bad habit I've had all my life. I inherited it, from my parents, the news, coworkers, etc.
I know now these thought patterns led me right into anxiety, panic attacks, and then depression.
Today, it's a different story. A shift happened within me. I learned that worry is about control and control is about fear. What I was most afraid of, what caused me the most anxiety, you know what it was? Myself. I have been afraid of trusting myself. If I can't trust myself, which is where I AM, then I live in constant fear. I would search outside myself for validation and security, and I wanted others to tell me what I should do. I had such a hard time making decisions for myself.
Worry is a hard habit to break. The shift has been a process. First and most important was knowing, really knowing, that God is always with me, within me. I shifted from seeing God as condemning and aloof, to God within me, accepting me just as I am.
Second, accepting myself JUST AS I AM. I faced shame-based beliefs I had about myself and worked with them instead of suppressing them. I understood that I am unique and important to the greater whole (purpose). I have given myself permission to feel feelings that were lost inside of me for years. I have faced my fears and seen them as just a part of me that I need to work with and not against.
Third, give myself permission to walk my own path. I asked myself, what do I want? What makes me feel whole and alive?
This shift did not happen automatically, nor on its own. I was willing to do the work. No more excuses. I wanted once and for all to feel alive and be Me. I did the work, and am still going strong at it. This is a moment to moment event. Life. It's always changing, I'm always learning, and this results in my growth and expansion.
There is no one thing that got me to this place. A combination of life tools I've learned and applied. These have been the most life changing:
--My relationship with God
--Religion (the Bible) then spirituality (A Course in Miracles, Zen, Reiki), yes, there's a difference
--Many, many, many self-help books and using the tools in them
--Prayer, affirmations, meditation
--Ongoing exercise
--Journaling
--Very good friends, the kind that support you and love you for who you are, and tell you the frieking truth (I have a few of these, plus my coaching support group)
--A life coach, one that is committed to your growth and is honest and that I relate to. I cannot relate to someone who just sits and listens. I need relationship. I need to know that the coach has been there, done that. For me this is important.
--I did and am doing the healing work. I have taken the challenge to resolve my past issues and move forward. (You University Program)
As a result of the above, a shift in perception has resulted. I see everything as an opportunity to learn about myself. I realize I'm not a victim. I've always had the power to choose. I am responsible.
It feels soooo good.

To The Top Tuesday

Living In The Now

For the last week I have been easily distracted. I have been forgetful, worried, anxious. I focus in on things that I need to get done. Even though I am performing activities around my priorities, my mind is elsewhere. So as I started to think through my solutions of working through these feelings I realized that I had not been present in the now. So I made a challenge to myself. I would only do things that made me happy or would result in happiness (example: cleaning does not make me happy but the end result does). I would prioritize my time so that things on the top of my list would truly come first. I would LIVE IN THE NOW.

Since I have implemented this challenge the results have been amazing. I am happy. I am not anxious. I am not fearful or worried. I am enjoying being with my family and I am enjoying the work I am doing. I am taking care of myself. I am me.

So, this got me thinking........

Minds can easily be sidetracked. As humans we have a tendency to focus in on the past or future and can completely disregard the present.

As we reminisce about the past our thoughts can turn negative. Why did I make those stupid mistakes? Why didn't I say something else? Why did I miss that opportunity? I should have.....

As we look to the future we might get anxious. What if I make a mistake? What if they don't show up? What if........

When we live in the present all our mind can do is look at the picture laid out before us. The present deserves our ultimate attention. When we live in the now we can then do our best at the project at hand. Our hearts push us towards what is important (husband, children, self-care, service) and our minds focus on the path at present. We are taking life a little square at a time. Allowing ourselves to truly enjoy life and all that we have in our midst.

Following My Heart

Maia had a beautiful quote for me today: The desires of the heart are placed there by God.

The quote spoke to me on so many levels of my life. In my career I feel I am truly following my heart. Being a life coach helps me inspire others and serve them. Even though I am paid, the feelings I have when I am speaking with a client are priceless.

With my family, I have so many desires for them. I am truly passionate about raising my family in a way that is loving and sincere. Parenting inspires me to be a better person. I work through my past and find my true emotions so that I can parent without the baggage that I was raised with.

Our desires are put there for a reason. It is important for us to acknowledge what we are truly passionate about. Following our heart's path is following the path that God has put us here for. To do this we must take care of ourselves and feel good about the things we do daily.

Look to tomorrow's blog about living in the now.

Blog Hop Tuesday

Tool to Grow Part 1

One of the biggest blocks we put up to justify not dealing with our emotions is a spiritual bypass. This bypass allows us to ignore our true feelings and cover them up with needing to improve our faith. For instance: I worry for my children. Instead of asking myself what is the underlying reason for the worry and fear, I would just tell myself I need to have more faith in Heavenly Father to protect my children and follow his path.

Having faith has a huge role in my life but God gave us emotions for a reason. The correct way to address this concern would be to look at the true meaning behind my feelings, work through them and strengthen my faith and build my relationship with God along the way.

As humans we have a tendency to only want the good feelings and cover up the bad. So we put our variety of emotions into two categories: black and white. This helps us justify covering up the situations we don't want to feel.

What we really should be doing is feeling all of these emotions and working through them. They all have their appropriate place in our lives and we can learn much about ourselves by looking into the meaning behind them.

When we use God's guidance through prayer, scriptures, and following our faith, we have more support in addressing our emotions and finding ourselves.

More on tools to use to help you on your path will be posted tomorrow.

Tools to Grow Part 2

As a life coach I realize the importance of using tools for growth and inspiration. They are important to be used frequently to work through emotions and address underlying fears, worries, and resentment. On the other hand we can also adopt tools that are not so good on our growth and can completely cover up our true feelings.

I know that I am a life coach but it still takes my own life coach to remind me to use the tools myself. After an emotional week and some feelings that I needed to address, I had some homework from my husband and my life coach. The homework:
-Anger Process-a process I used to talk yourself through your anger and uplift your potential.
-Love Letter-working through negative situations and feelings towards others and yourself.
I can't even begin to describe how much it helped to use both of these instruments. Being open to receiving advice from people in my life allowed me to grow and receive inspiration.

Some of the other tools I have learned through Maia Berens that I use:
-Coaching support-my coaching group.
-Supportive Friendships-uplifting friends that help me in my progress.
-You University-a 12 class program developed by Maia Berens that has helped me work through my past and change my perspective and find success with myself.
-Journaling -writing in my notebook or on an online journal software I have really been able to find a new way to express myself.
-My Faith-building up my faith through my religion and relationship with God helps me put things in priority and find what is truly important to me.
I'm sure there are others but these are ones I have been using faithfully and have been blessed to have huge improvements in my life. The combination of support that comes from God, my life coach, friends, and correct tools is priceless.

A Better Parent - A Better Me

I was writing in my journal yesterday and I noticed a book I have been reading "Children are From Heaven" by John Gray. It is a parenting book recommended to me by Maia Berens. I love the book and have learned much from it. What I realize now is that the book has helped but my work on myself is really what has made me a better parent.

Before my work with Maia and You University, I had been really emotional. Our emotions make us human but my emotions were running my life. They were not ones of joy and happiness but of anger, fear, resentment, regret and lots of sadness. I was allowing myself to ruin my life by not taking care of myself. It has taken much work and countless life coaching sessions to really work through these emotions and why they are so prevalent in me.

After working with my coaching group and Maia, huge changes have transpired. I am a calmer parent. I no longer allow those emotions to take control of me. I work through them and let my true love shine through towards my children. They see that Mommy is listening and being patient.

I can't say the difference happened overnight and it was not one thing that really changed my life. It was a multitude of tools, faith, prayer, and support that really helped me transition into this person that I really am. My parenting has been a wonderful by-product of me finding me.

Fear

I am recently reminded of being about 6 and being scared at night. I was a very frightful child always scared. This instance I had come out of my room to seek comfort from my mom. I told her I was scared. I can't remember what I said I was scared of but it started with "what if......" She told me something I still have not forgotten. "What if a bomb lands on the house, what if we all die. Stop worrying about what if's and go to sleep" I don't know if that was the most loving way to approach a 6 year old and it didn't seem to help.

I know what I want to tell that little six year old.

"It is okay to feel scared. It is okay to feel worried. I worry and get scared to sometimes. Don't let it ruin all the wonderful things you do have. A healthy body. A mother who loves you. A loving kitty kat at the foot of your bed. Aunts who think you are the best girl ever. You are loved and Heavenly Father has a plan for you. Trust in that."

Now it is my turn to be the mom. I will cuddle them when they are scared. Let them talk through their feelings and listen to them just like I wanted to be talked to and listened to. They are human and deserve all of the love and respect I can give them. They deserve to be heard and validated.

Please note: my mother is not the same person she used to be. She has changed immensely for the better and would never tell or treat her grandchildren the same way as she treated me. I love her very much and our relationship is very strong and supporting.

Reflections of Being Sick - Am I looking into this too much?

I just got over being sick for a week. It was horrible and I wont give any details but I would not suggest you loss 7 pounds that way.

Being sick allowed me some time to rest. My mind was a blur and I could not function in anyway. The only thing for me to do was rest. That meant no books, no computer, no TV. I couldn't focus on a single item of information and any movement made me nauseous.

After a few days of nothing, I started thinking:
Why was I sick?
Why had I attracted this?
What was my body reacting to?
What was I in need of?
Was I suppressing any emotions?

The life coach in me needed answers. I wouldn't be me if I hadn't asked and I would be denying myself growth.
So I started delving into every aspect of my life.
Was I happy where I was living?
Did I enjoy my home?
Was I truly grateful for what I had?
Did I really have the faith to follow the path God has for me?
Where do I want to live?
What is the next step in my relationship with my husband?
Am I ready for it?
Am I choosing the right things for my children?
What is my goal for them?
Am I really focusing in on our family's goals?
What is being neglected that truly matters?
What are my fears?

These are all really inspiring questions and they all received small amounts of thought and focus. Now that I am well I will look into these answers more thoroughly. I know that the answers are inside of me and God will inspire me. The real question is am I ready to listen?

Home Is Where The Heart Is

I am trying to figure out where my heart is. I must say after this week, I had such wonderful support from my family, that I feel we need to be closer to them. I am apart of a unique family, both my in-laws and my parents are wonderful people, parents and grandparents. Both my husbands parents and my own are different than they were when we were growing up. The difference is shown towards our two boys and towards us. They are patient, loving teachers. They are very supportive. Although nobody is perfect they certainly love being grandparents. I realize we live too far away for them to be able to be grandparents to our children very often. They would love it if we lived closer. To be honest, I would love it too.

After pondering this move, I realize how important boundaries will be. I am reminded of the realities of living close to family and I know that setting up walls for me and my family are a must.

So in conclusion I know that if we do move it will be after prayer, careful consideration, and communicating boundaries. All of the tools, lessons and gifts that I have learned from Maia and You University have lead me to a place where I am grateful for the life I have. Wherever we live it will be exactly where we are supposed to be.

Service and Good Works

Today one of our church classes was on service and good works. I love the scripture that pertains to a time for everything. I know that my service and good works is devoted to my children and things I can do with my children. Today was a wonderful reminder of that. Later in my life I can devote towards a different variety of service and good works. I will try to bring more service into our home. More kindness, more nurturing, more quality time. I love these sweet reminders of how much family means to me.

Is Life Coaching a Good Second Career?

Is Life Coaching a Good Second Career?

Self Care; Who Comes First?

Self Care; Who Comes First?

Why Do I Need a Professional Life Coach?

Why Do I Need a Professional Life Coach?

Even Life Coaches Need Self Help Solutions

Even Life Coaches Need Self Help Solutions

Leaders Can Teach Us to Forgive and Find Inner Peace

Leaders Can Teach Us to Forgive and Find Inner Peace

Anger Process

The anger process was written by John Gray. It was introduced to me by Maia Berens. You can see the video I have on my testimony of the importance of this tool here: Anger Process Testimony. The changes that I have allowed in my life are beyond words. This is one of the tools that has helped in my transformation.

The process is as follows:
Step 1 - Get Angry
Look yourself in the mirror and get angry. Tell yourself what you are so stinking ticked off about.
I am angry at you.
I am mad at you.
I'm ticked when you.......

In this step use you words like you would if you were talking to somebody else. Use an angry voice, not necessarily screaming which could distract from the truth. After 2 to 3 minutes move on to step 2.

Step 2 - Becoming the Motivator

Using an angry voice again ( John Gray points out that your voice should stay consistent in the first two steps: angry and assertive.) clearly describe what you want.

I want you to clean up.
I want you to start being more assertive.
I want you to calm down
I want you to be patient.

Do this for 2-3 minutes then move on to step 3.

Step 3 - Be Your Own Cheerleader.

In a firm voice tell yourself what you are good at, what you can accomplish, what you deserve.

You are a wonderful mother.
You can be better.
You can be patient.
You can be more calm.
You are loving.
You are trying.
You can be more organized.
You can master this.

He says to end with "self love, self worth, inner strength".

The anger process is instrumental in acknowledging your anger but not allowing it to corrode your life. Anger can be destructive if it is allowed to take up residence inside of you. It eats away at your self-esteem and can destroy your relationships. This tool helps you admit you are angry and move on......move towards a more loving, positive you.

Family Vacation Fosters Creativity

Our family went on a short, much needed vacation recently. We drove down to San Diego and camped at Mission Bay. It was perfect. We swam, played in the sand, went to Sea World and played some more. The weather was great; warm with a cool breeze and the water was wonderful.

The long drive allowed me to get some much needed thinking time. I listened to my music and books and just focused in on my thoughts. I made a mental list of what makes me happy, what do I enjoy doing, what do I want, where do I find my drive. I thought about my family and how I can accomplish the goals I have in mind for them.

When we got to the campground, our main goal was to spend time with each other. No agenda. We didn't have to go anywhere. We enjoyed our time and the amenities of the bay. The time we spent together was memorable and helped us appreciate the age of our boys. It was a great opportunity for us to see the importance of family vacations and the need to plan more.

I reflected on our drive home on all of the things that I really want to focus in on. I noticed that before we had left I was getting burned out. I was definitely in need of finding motivation. Spending close time with my family without any expectations or looming deadlines had allowed me to just be. My creativity has come back. I am determined to see my goals through.

Lessons learned in this trip:
-Taking a break is necessary for optimal creativity.
-My family brings me joy so focus in on it.
-Now is the time to live, don't put it off for another day.
-My families health is very important and needs to be one of my top priorities.
-My children need to be nurtured and educated by me and my husband. This short time that we have them is momentous and should be cherished.

Just a Life Coach Certification or Life Coach and Mentor?

Just a Life Coach Certification or Life Coach and Mentor?

Personal Goal Setting; Concrete and Abstract

Personal Goal Setting; Concrete and Abstract

Journaling Software – Why a coach would spend money on free online journaling?

Journaling Software – Why a coach would spend money on free online journaling?

Relationship Support For Me And My Martian

Relationship Support For Me And My Martian

Is There a Best Way to Go About Goal Setting?

Is There a Best Way to Go About Goal Setting?

Is a relationship doomed if you have different interests?

Is a relationship doomed if you have different interests?

Gossip

I have to be honest I used to gossip. I used it as a way for me to form bonds with other friends but I felt bad when I did it. I was attracting people who thrived on complaining, negative talking, gossip, and judging. I was attracting them because I was one of them.

The cycle of murmuring or gossiping about others is a vicious cycle. It might start out with just a mild judgement and it can end in feelings being hurt and/or the loss of a friend. We rationalize it with "I am just venting." or "I am talking good about them". Conversations can be twisted, rumors can get started and it will only end badly.

It has taken me a long time to see the truth in this. I thought that if I felt they were in the wrong I had every right to talk about them. This is short sided. Not only should I not be judging my fellow man but my friends and family deserve the best of me.

My gossiping, negativity all stemmed from my insecurities. I was the victim. I had to tell everyone how wrong everyone else was so I could feel better about myself. Finding fault in others somehow took them off the pedestal I had put them on. Then they could be down in the dirt with the rest of us. It is sick and sad but the truth.

The saddest part of all this negative talk is that we are usually complaining about friends or loved ones. The people that we are supposed to hold closest to us.

I know that this cycle starts with me. It all begins with my emotions. I don't allow my insecurities to do my thinking for me. My thoughts then turn positive and anger subsides. I then have to voice my own values and stick of for those that are not present. I have choices: I can walk away, change the subject, or stick up for those wronged. It can all start or end with me. I can make a difference.

When we really think about all of these things that I have discussed above, we can realize none of us are perfect. Embrace each other's differences and judge not. The friends and family that have come across my path I have loved and learned from. I hope that I live my life in a way that shows how much I appreciate them.

Reinvent Yourself – A Writing Exercise

Reinvent Yourself; A Writing Exercise

What Do I See?

I see a dynamic life coach who has made a product that will change the world.

I see a woman who loves her career and how little time it takes her.

I see a mother who is allowed to spend time teaching her children and having playtime with them.

I see a wife who is learning to be better and appreciating her husband for everything he is and does for their family.

I see myself as physically fit. I see myself finding balance and routine where before there was chaos.

I see a cleaning lady who helps with the errands.

I see my husband out in the garden with my boys. I see myself able to work while he watches them so we don't have to use a nanny.

I see us traveling as a family within the U.S.

I see us doing service together.

I see my patience growing and my anger dissipating.

I see me loving and appreciating myself .

I am grateful for all the Lord provides for me and my family.

Gifts From God

I know some of the reasons why I go to church. I go for spiritual support. I go to make amends with God through taking the Sacrament. I go to feel connected with Christ. I go to feel connected with people of my faith. I go to teach my children the principles of faith and love. I go to serve others. I go to show my children how to serve others. I go to strengthen our family.

The people in my faith have similar habits. We have our own lingo and we have our clicks. This can be good in supporting each other but it can also create our own little personal bubble. A comfort zone that is impenetrable by the outside world. I remember how weird this new world was when I was first baptized at 22. It seemed like I was an outsider looking in. So many things to learn, so many people to meet. I have to say the transition was easier because I was welcomed with loving arms.

I am blessed to be baptized into this religion later on in life where I can see what new converts are going through. I can sympathize with how "alien" this new world can feel. I can relate to those that have not found Christ and those that have. I can remember what it was like for me before I found my true spiritual side.

What I find truly interesting with all of this is how my life coaching as a career fits into all of this. The group of ladies that I are apart of our coaching are all different religions and in different places spiritually. Yet, I find myself growing in my own faith and religion by associating with them and by learning this skill of life coaching. I really feel that this is such an incredible blessing. I know that I am in the right place and doing the right thing when at the end of the day I feel closer to God and to my true self. Meeting these women, finding my calling, and being able to grow is truly a gift from my Heavenly Father.

I know that being a life coach is my calling in life. I know that I have a special kinship and sensitivity with people from all walks of life. I know that if life and Jesus have taught me anything it is to love all, forgive all and serve all.

All in Due Time

I am reminded today how important it is to be patient and relax. Some days I get so caught up in rushing that I am just forcing myself from one activity into another. I get into such a frenzy about the future that I am force feeding myself to do things that are supposed to be good for me. I have to pray, I have to meditate, I have to get the boys breakfast and so on until I am having to go to bed. This mentality is a prescription for miserable mentality. I am just moving on to the next thing without appreciating my life.

So I am giving myself permission to enjoy the moment. Live in the now. Not "I want it right now" but "I love what I have right now". I am giving myself permission to enjoy things I don't normally enjoy. I am going to feel priviledged to make my bed, I am going to embrace doing the dishes, I am going savor folding the laundry. I am going to appreciate making meals for my sweet family. I am going to enjoy the now without rushing into the future. I am going to love what I have instead of waiting for that special something that will make me happy. I choose to be happy now!

A Friend In Deed!

I must write about someone who lifted me up. I have to admit my life has been turned upside down. I have allowed myself to get the best of myself. With so many things going on in my life I had lost confidence in myself and in my coaching and was questioning what to do next.

My soul sister, Crystal, called me and gave me a little leg up. She directed me in exactly what my step needs to be. She helped me with my outline and my mind map. It was wonderful and I got off the phone feeling a quiet excitement about the future.
When I get overwhelmed and allow my confidence to be lost, my mind gets foggy. I have a hard time remembering things and find it is hard to think clearly. Crystal really helped lift my fog.
She is working so hard in this business. She is definitely the cheerleader of our group.

Without our group of supportive ladies our business would have failed before it even began. Our Fairy God Mother, Maia, is so supportive and inspirational. This group of wise ladies that I am apart of allow me to be me and help me become more.This whole week is testifying of Secret #2 "A friend in deed" (From Maia's Once Upon a Time There Was You: Three Magic Secrets to Finding Your Real Self). We all need support of some kind to build success and find ourselves.
Thank you my ladies for all of your support.

Grieving and Growing

Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I had a phone call with a coaching friend of mine. We primarily discussed the importance of grieving and feeling your emotions. At the end of the call my husband had walked into the house to tell me of some tragic news concerning a dear friend of mine.

Both of these events brought some tremendous insight on the grieving process and how we treat ourselves during different emotions.

It is amazing to me that we just shove our emotions aside. We don't allows ourselves to feel. We are taught from a young age to "stop crying", "shake it off" or "get over it". Later on we enforce what we have been taught by making ourselves feel guilty for our emotions. Or worse, we make ourselves believe we are "fine".

I realized today it is okay to grieve. It is okay if I don't want to talk or if I do. We all react differently. Acknowledge those emotions, feel them, learn from them, and move on. We will all do those steps within different time frames but it is important that we go through those steps.

Every event in our life is teaching us something different. We may not learn the lesson right away. But when we do, we grow.

Salmon

I know you are looking at the title saying "Where's the recipe?". I was eating a smoked salmon salad today and realized how much I love salmon. Why?

It reminds me of home. It reminds me of Oregon and all the beauty. Most importantly, it reminds me of the wonderful fatherly figures I had that took me fishing and spent time with me. I had a few. My biological father was absent from my life but I had lots of men who filled in.

My Papa Lee (my mother's father). He was there for the majority of my childhood. He gave me noogies (noogies: briskly rubbing your knuckles on the tops of someone else's head) out of affection and was always taking me on interesting excursions. He showed me how to cast my line for the first time. He taught me to bobbers. He bought me my first fishing pole. He was the man I always had around in the background. Not the cuddly type of grandpa but he was there for me.

My best friends father, Dave. Dave would take me and his daughter, Misty, fishing. I don't know if he enjoyed it. Heck, I don't know if I enjoyed it until now. He taught us how to use fishing lures. He tried to get us to dive for them. Misty eventually did but I was always a wuss. There was no way you were going to get me to dive into that cold lake. Who knows what kind of monsters were in there. Dave took us on multiple hiking expeditions. I specifically remembering him telling us we would only be on a couple mile hike and it turning into a 10-15 mile hike. OUCH! That did happen frequently. He was willing to take us and spend them time with us. That is what mattered the most. I still wear his Portland Marathon shirt when I workout. The neck is stretched out just like all of his shirts were and it reminds me of him.

My mother dated a man, Buzz, when I was in middle school. He was grouchy but I loved him very much. I remember him taking me to fish salmon on the Hood River. Those times were some of my fondest childhood memories. I remember the happiness of my mother and Buzz. He was very patient in helping me perfect my casting technique. I remember going to the store to help him get lures: Fox #4. I remember him showing me how to clean salmon and how to beat suckers on the head. I don't know if I would like to do that now but I was willing to learn at the time. He could be very brusque but he would give me hugs and tell me he loved me. That is what I remember the most. I miss him very often.

The last man that has had an effect on my fishing is my Dad (he is in the picture ). He married my mom when I was 14 and adopted me when I was 18. He took me fishing of all kinds: deep sea, bass, trout, salmon, steelhead and other names I can't remember. He taught me how to back up a boat into the water. He taught me how to drive the boat. He was with me when I caught my first fish out in the sea. He was with me when I first feed the fish (vomit) out in the sea. He showed me how to fillet and smoke salmon. My Dad also has shown me how to shoot, clean, and butcher my own meat. We have had so many wonderful memories together that I could write a book. It has been a roller coaster with him but my Dad has been the most consistent and loving father a girl could have. He tries very hard to be there when I need him and listens to me when I have something to say. I know that he loves me and I couldn't ask for more.