Anger Process

The anger process was written by John Gray. It was introduced to me by Maia Berens. You can see the video I have on my testimony of the importance of this tool here: Anger Process Testimony. The changes that I have allowed in my life are beyond words. This is one of the tools that has helped in my transformation.

The process is as follows:
Step 1 - Get Angry
Look yourself in the mirror and get angry. Tell yourself what you are so stinking ticked off about.
I am angry at you.
I am mad at you.
I'm ticked when you.......

In this step use you words like you would if you were talking to somebody else. Use an angry voice, not necessarily screaming which could distract from the truth. After 2 to 3 minutes move on to step 2.

Step 2 - Becoming the Motivator

Using an angry voice again ( John Gray points out that your voice should stay consistent in the first two steps: angry and assertive.) clearly describe what you want.

I want you to clean up.
I want you to start being more assertive.
I want you to calm down
I want you to be patient.

Do this for 2-3 minutes then move on to step 3.

Step 3 - Be Your Own Cheerleader.

In a firm voice tell yourself what you are good at, what you can accomplish, what you deserve.

You are a wonderful mother.
You can be better.
You can be patient.
You can be more calm.
You are loving.
You are trying.
You can be more organized.
You can master this.

He says to end with "self love, self worth, inner strength".

The anger process is instrumental in acknowledging your anger but not allowing it to corrode your life. Anger can be destructive if it is allowed to take up residence inside of you. It eats away at your self-esteem and can destroy your relationships. This tool helps you admit you are angry and move on......move towards a more loving, positive you.