Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Anger Process
The anger process was written by John Gray. It was introduced to me by Maia Berens. You can see the video I have on my testimony of the importance of this tool here: Anger Process Testimony. The changes that I have allowed in my life are beyond words. This is one of the tools that has helped in my transformation.
The process is as follows:
Step 1 - Get Angry
Look yourself in the mirror and get angry. Tell yourself what you are so stinking ticked off about.
I am angry at you.
I am mad at you.
I'm ticked when you.......
In this step use you words like you would if you were talking to somebody else. Use an angry voice, not necessarily screaming which could distract from the truth. After 2 to 3 minutes move on to step 2.
Step 2 - Becoming the Motivator
Using an angry voice again ( John Gray points out that your voice should stay consistent in the first two steps: angry and assertive.) clearly describe what you want.
I want you to clean up.
I want you to start being more assertive.
I want you to calm down
I want you to be patient.
Do this for 2-3 minutes then move on to step 3.
Step 3 - Be Your Own Cheerleader.
In a firm voice tell yourself what you are good at, what you can accomplish, what you deserve.
You are a wonderful mother.
You can be better.
You can be patient.
You can be more calm.
You are loving.
You are trying.
You can be more organized.
You can master this.
He says to end with "self love, self worth, inner strength".
The anger process is instrumental in acknowledging your anger but not allowing it to corrode your life. Anger can be destructive if it is allowed to take up residence inside of you. It eats away at your self-esteem and can destroy your relationships. This tool helps you admit you are angry and move on......move towards a more loving, positive you.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Family Vacation Fosters Creativity
Our family went on a short, much needed vacation recently. We drove down to San Diego and camped at Mission Bay. It was perfect. We swam, played in the sand, went to Sea World and played some more. The weather was great; warm with a cool breeze and the water was wonderful.
The long drive allowed me to get some much needed thinking time. I listened to my music and books and just focused in on my thoughts. I made a mental list of what makes me happy, what do I enjoy doing, what do I want, where do I find my drive. I thought about my family and how I can accomplish the goals I have in mind for them.
When we got to the campground, our main goal was to spend time with each other. No agenda. We didn't have to go anywhere. We enjoyed our time and the amenities of the bay. The time we spent together was memorable and helped us appreciate the age of our boys. It was a great opportunity for us to see the importance of family vacations and the need to plan more.
I reflected on our drive home on all of the things that I really want to focus in on. I noticed that before we had left I was getting burned out. I was definitely in need of finding motivation. Spending close time with my family without any expectations or looming deadlines had allowed me to just be. My creativity has come back. I am determined to see my goals through.
Lessons learned in this trip:
-Taking a break is necessary for optimal creativity.
-My family brings me joy so focus in on it.
-Now is the time to live, don't put it off for another day.
-My families health is very important and needs to be one of my top priorities.
-My children need to be nurtured and educated by me and my husband. This short time that we have them is momentous and should be cherished.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Gossip
I have to be honest I used to gossip. I used it as a way for me to form bonds with other friends but I felt bad when I did it. I was attracting people who thrived on complaining, negative talking, gossip, and judging. I was attracting them because I was one of them.
The cycle of murmuring or gossiping about others is a vicious cycle. It might start out with just a mild judgement and it can end in feelings being hurt and/or the loss of a friend. We rationalize it with "I am just venting." or "I am talking good about them". Conversations can be twisted, rumors can get started and it will only end badly.
It has taken me a long time to see the truth in this. I thought that if I felt they were in the wrong I had every right to talk about them. This is short sided. Not only should I not be judging my fellow man but my friends and family deserve the best of me.
My gossiping, negativity all stemmed from my insecurities. I was the victim. I had to tell everyone how wrong everyone else was so I could feel better about myself. Finding fault in others somehow took them off the pedestal I had put them on. Then they could be down in the dirt with the rest of us. It is sick and sad but the truth.
The saddest part of all this negative talk is that we are usually complaining about friends or loved ones. The people that we are supposed to hold closest to us.
I know that this cycle starts with me. It all begins with my emotions. I don't allow my insecurities to do my thinking for me. My thoughts then turn positive and anger subsides. I then have to voice my own values and stick of for those that are not present. I have choices: I can walk away, change the subject, or stick up for those wronged. It can all start or end with me. I can make a difference.
When we really think about all of these things that I have discussed above, we can realize none of us are perfect. Embrace each other's differences and judge not. The friends and family that have come across my path I have loved and learned from. I hope that I live my life in a way that shows how much I appreciate them.
The cycle of murmuring or gossiping about others is a vicious cycle. It might start out with just a mild judgement and it can end in feelings being hurt and/or the loss of a friend. We rationalize it with "I am just venting." or "I am talking good about them". Conversations can be twisted, rumors can get started and it will only end badly.
It has taken me a long time to see the truth in this. I thought that if I felt they were in the wrong I had every right to talk about them. This is short sided. Not only should I not be judging my fellow man but my friends and family deserve the best of me.
My gossiping, negativity all stemmed from my insecurities. I was the victim. I had to tell everyone how wrong everyone else was so I could feel better about myself. Finding fault in others somehow took them off the pedestal I had put them on. Then they could be down in the dirt with the rest of us. It is sick and sad but the truth.
The saddest part of all this negative talk is that we are usually complaining about friends or loved ones. The people that we are supposed to hold closest to us.
I know that this cycle starts with me. It all begins with my emotions. I don't allow my insecurities to do my thinking for me. My thoughts then turn positive and anger subsides. I then have to voice my own values and stick of for those that are not present. I have choices: I can walk away, change the subject, or stick up for those wronged. It can all start or end with me. I can make a difference.
When we really think about all of these things that I have discussed above, we can realize none of us are perfect. Embrace each other's differences and judge not. The friends and family that have come across my path I have loved and learned from. I hope that I live my life in a way that shows how much I appreciate them.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
What Do I See?
I see a dynamic life coach who has made a product that will change the world.
I see a woman who loves her career and how little time it takes her.
I see a mother who is allowed to spend time teaching her children and having playtime with them.
I see a wife who is learning to be better and appreciating her husband for everything he is and does for their family.
I see myself as physically fit. I see myself finding balance and routine where before there was chaos.
I see a cleaning lady who helps with the errands.
I see my husband out in the garden with my boys. I see myself able to work while he watches them so we don't have to use a nanny.
I see us traveling as a family within the U.S.
I see us doing service together.
I see my patience growing and my anger dissipating.
I see me loving and appreciating myself .
I am grateful for all the Lord provides for me and my family.
I see a woman who loves her career and how little time it takes her.
I see a mother who is allowed to spend time teaching her children and having playtime with them.
I see a wife who is learning to be better and appreciating her husband for everything he is and does for their family.
I see myself as physically fit. I see myself finding balance and routine where before there was chaos.
I see a cleaning lady who helps with the errands.
I see my husband out in the garden with my boys. I see myself able to work while he watches them so we don't have to use a nanny.
I see us traveling as a family within the U.S.
I see us doing service together.
I see my patience growing and my anger dissipating.
I see me loving and appreciating myself .
I am grateful for all the Lord provides for me and my family.
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