To The Top Tuesday

Mother Teresa 100 Years Old

Mother Teresa would have been 100 years old today. Although I am not Catholic, I believe what she stood for was something that crosses boundaries of religion, sex, age, and time. Her philosophy was backed by her actions. She was an amazing woman who did great things with little money and vast amounts of love.

“It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home, for this is where our love for each other must start” – Mother Teresa

The most important service we will ever do is towards those in our own home. When we serve others we always think of those outside of our home but this is not where change starts. It starts small with little acts of kindness and love towards our spouse, our children, our family. These sometimes tiny acts create ripples of greater love and acceptance.


“Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world” – Mother Teresa

The responsibility we have for our family can get lost with the hustle and bustle of the world. We tend to worry about the thoughts of friends in society, losing our family in the process. When we create a family, they need our greatest love. They deserve the best, when usually we give them the left overs.

I challenge you to make a small unexpected act of love and kindness towards those closest to you. It can make all the difference to them and will fill your heart. Mother Teresa symbolizes the act of love, selflessness, and faith. We have much to thank her for. Let us start showing our gratitude by making a small change.
Love to you all!

Transformational Learning - teaching by example

To me the best teachers lead by example. Perfection isn't required. I see this as a necessity in life coaching. Lives are never going to go exactly as you plan but learning from life helps us grow. That is all I expect from those I learn from.

One of my colleagues and friends, Savina Cavallo has written an amazing blog on the tools she used to work through her worries. Let me give you a little rundown of the article and what I learned from it.

Savina's worry was embedded in her and centered around feelings about herself. She felt a need to be validated by others (not always a bad thing but it can be unhealthy, another topic for another day) and she lacked trust in herself.
The steps she went through to let go:
1)"First and most important was knowing, really knowing, that God is always with me, within me. I shifted from seeing God as condemning and aloof, to God within me, accepting me just as I am."
I love this it is absolutely brilliant. We tend to think God is constantly judging us and forget that he made us the way we are. We are beautiful in our uniqueness and we should trust in Him that He did a good job and has a path for us.

2)"Second, accepting myself JUST AS I AM. I faced shame-based beliefs I had about myself and worked with them instead of suppressing them. I understood that I am unique and important to the greater whole (purpose). I have given myself permission to feel feelings that were lost inside of me for years. I have faced my fears and seen them as just a part of me that I need to work with and not against."
We are all different and we all have our different baggage, feelings and reactions. But we are all lovely in our own way. Loving ourselves is an important step in reclaiming our lives. We are just as important as anyone else.

3)"Third, give myself permission to walk my own path. I asked myself, what do I want? What makes me feel whole and alive?"
Our gifts and talents are individual just like our fingerprints. They make us who we are. In this last step not only is she recognizing her gifts and her own path, but tshe is acknowledging that she needs to do things that make her happy. She needs to take care of herself.

Her article goes into more depth about the specific tools that she has found comforting. I love her way of writing and I can hear her beautiful accent as I read it. This woman has come a long way in her journey. She is willing to learn, grow, and work hard to become her true potential. I can't say enough about her. She is truly "a friend in deed". Follow this link to see the full article:Tools for Releasing Worry

Tools for Releasing Worry by You University Life Coach, Savina Cavallo

Message from Adrienne: Tomorrow I will have a post of my thoughts on this wonderful article. Look forward to seeing you come back!

My mood is very affected by my thoughts and beliefs. Worry is a bad habit I've had all my life. I inherited it, from my parents, the news, coworkers, etc.
I know now these thought patterns led me right into anxiety, panic attacks, and then depression.
Today, it's a different story. A shift happened within me. I learned that worry is about control and control is about fear. What I was most afraid of, what caused me the most anxiety, you know what it was? Myself. I have been afraid of trusting myself. If I can't trust myself, which is where I AM, then I live in constant fear. I would search outside myself for validation and security, and I wanted others to tell me what I should do. I had such a hard time making decisions for myself.
Worry is a hard habit to break. The shift has been a process. First and most important was knowing, really knowing, that God is always with me, within me. I shifted from seeing God as condemning and aloof, to God within me, accepting me just as I am.
Second, accepting myself JUST AS I AM. I faced shame-based beliefs I had about myself and worked with them instead of suppressing them. I understood that I am unique and important to the greater whole (purpose). I have given myself permission to feel feelings that were lost inside of me for years. I have faced my fears and seen them as just a part of me that I need to work with and not against.
Third, give myself permission to walk my own path. I asked myself, what do I want? What makes me feel whole and alive?
This shift did not happen automatically, nor on its own. I was willing to do the work. No more excuses. I wanted once and for all to feel alive and be Me. I did the work, and am still going strong at it. This is a moment to moment event. Life. It's always changing, I'm always learning, and this results in my growth and expansion.
There is no one thing that got me to this place. A combination of life tools I've learned and applied. These have been the most life changing:
--My relationship with God
--Religion (the Bible) then spirituality (A Course in Miracles, Zen, Reiki), yes, there's a difference
--Many, many, many self-help books and using the tools in them
--Prayer, affirmations, meditation
--Ongoing exercise
--Journaling
--Very good friends, the kind that support you and love you for who you are, and tell you the frieking truth (I have a few of these, plus my coaching support group)
--A life coach, one that is committed to your growth and is honest and that I relate to. I cannot relate to someone who just sits and listens. I need relationship. I need to know that the coach has been there, done that. For me this is important.
--I did and am doing the healing work. I have taken the challenge to resolve my past issues and move forward. (You University Program)
As a result of the above, a shift in perception has resulted. I see everything as an opportunity to learn about myself. I realize I'm not a victim. I've always had the power to choose. I am responsible.
It feels soooo good.

To The Top Tuesday

Living In The Now

For the last week I have been easily distracted. I have been forgetful, worried, anxious. I focus in on things that I need to get done. Even though I am performing activities around my priorities, my mind is elsewhere. So as I started to think through my solutions of working through these feelings I realized that I had not been present in the now. So I made a challenge to myself. I would only do things that made me happy or would result in happiness (example: cleaning does not make me happy but the end result does). I would prioritize my time so that things on the top of my list would truly come first. I would LIVE IN THE NOW.

Since I have implemented this challenge the results have been amazing. I am happy. I am not anxious. I am not fearful or worried. I am enjoying being with my family and I am enjoying the work I am doing. I am taking care of myself. I am me.

So, this got me thinking........

Minds can easily be sidetracked. As humans we have a tendency to focus in on the past or future and can completely disregard the present.

As we reminisce about the past our thoughts can turn negative. Why did I make those stupid mistakes? Why didn't I say something else? Why did I miss that opportunity? I should have.....

As we look to the future we might get anxious. What if I make a mistake? What if they don't show up? What if........

When we live in the present all our mind can do is look at the picture laid out before us. The present deserves our ultimate attention. When we live in the now we can then do our best at the project at hand. Our hearts push us towards what is important (husband, children, self-care, service) and our minds focus on the path at present. We are taking life a little square at a time. Allowing ourselves to truly enjoy life and all that we have in our midst.

Following My Heart

Maia had a beautiful quote for me today: The desires of the heart are placed there by God.

The quote spoke to me on so many levels of my life. In my career I feel I am truly following my heart. Being a life coach helps me inspire others and serve them. Even though I am paid, the feelings I have when I am speaking with a client are priceless.

With my family, I have so many desires for them. I am truly passionate about raising my family in a way that is loving and sincere. Parenting inspires me to be a better person. I work through my past and find my true emotions so that I can parent without the baggage that I was raised with.

Our desires are put there for a reason. It is important for us to acknowledge what we are truly passionate about. Following our heart's path is following the path that God has put us here for. To do this we must take care of ourselves and feel good about the things we do daily.

Look to tomorrow's blog about living in the now.

Blog Hop Tuesday

Tool to Grow Part 1

One of the biggest blocks we put up to justify not dealing with our emotions is a spiritual bypass. This bypass allows us to ignore our true feelings and cover them up with needing to improve our faith. For instance: I worry for my children. Instead of asking myself what is the underlying reason for the worry and fear, I would just tell myself I need to have more faith in Heavenly Father to protect my children and follow his path.

Having faith has a huge role in my life but God gave us emotions for a reason. The correct way to address this concern would be to look at the true meaning behind my feelings, work through them and strengthen my faith and build my relationship with God along the way.

As humans we have a tendency to only want the good feelings and cover up the bad. So we put our variety of emotions into two categories: black and white. This helps us justify covering up the situations we don't want to feel.

What we really should be doing is feeling all of these emotions and working through them. They all have their appropriate place in our lives and we can learn much about ourselves by looking into the meaning behind them.

When we use God's guidance through prayer, scriptures, and following our faith, we have more support in addressing our emotions and finding ourselves.

More on tools to use to help you on your path will be posted tomorrow.

Tools to Grow Part 2

As a life coach I realize the importance of using tools for growth and inspiration. They are important to be used frequently to work through emotions and address underlying fears, worries, and resentment. On the other hand we can also adopt tools that are not so good on our growth and can completely cover up our true feelings.

I know that I am a life coach but it still takes my own life coach to remind me to use the tools myself. After an emotional week and some feelings that I needed to address, I had some homework from my husband and my life coach. The homework:
-Anger Process-a process I used to talk yourself through your anger and uplift your potential.
-Love Letter-working through negative situations and feelings towards others and yourself.
I can't even begin to describe how much it helped to use both of these instruments. Being open to receiving advice from people in my life allowed me to grow and receive inspiration.

Some of the other tools I have learned through Maia Berens that I use:
-Coaching support-my coaching group.
-Supportive Friendships-uplifting friends that help me in my progress.
-You University-a 12 class program developed by Maia Berens that has helped me work through my past and change my perspective and find success with myself.
-Journaling -writing in my notebook or on an online journal software I have really been able to find a new way to express myself.
-My Faith-building up my faith through my religion and relationship with God helps me put things in priority and find what is truly important to me.
I'm sure there are others but these are ones I have been using faithfully and have been blessed to have huge improvements in my life. The combination of support that comes from God, my life coach, friends, and correct tools is priceless.

A Better Parent - A Better Me

I was writing in my journal yesterday and I noticed a book I have been reading "Children are From Heaven" by John Gray. It is a parenting book recommended to me by Maia Berens. I love the book and have learned much from it. What I realize now is that the book has helped but my work on myself is really what has made me a better parent.

Before my work with Maia and You University, I had been really emotional. Our emotions make us human but my emotions were running my life. They were not ones of joy and happiness but of anger, fear, resentment, regret and lots of sadness. I was allowing myself to ruin my life by not taking care of myself. It has taken much work and countless life coaching sessions to really work through these emotions and why they are so prevalent in me.

After working with my coaching group and Maia, huge changes have transpired. I am a calmer parent. I no longer allow those emotions to take control of me. I work through them and let my true love shine through towards my children. They see that Mommy is listening and being patient.

I can't say the difference happened overnight and it was not one thing that really changed my life. It was a multitude of tools, faith, prayer, and support that really helped me transition into this person that I really am. My parenting has been a wonderful by-product of me finding me.

Fear

I am recently reminded of being about 6 and being scared at night. I was a very frightful child always scared. This instance I had come out of my room to seek comfort from my mom. I told her I was scared. I can't remember what I said I was scared of but it started with "what if......" She told me something I still have not forgotten. "What if a bomb lands on the house, what if we all die. Stop worrying about what if's and go to sleep" I don't know if that was the most loving way to approach a 6 year old and it didn't seem to help.

I know what I want to tell that little six year old.

"It is okay to feel scared. It is okay to feel worried. I worry and get scared to sometimes. Don't let it ruin all the wonderful things you do have. A healthy body. A mother who loves you. A loving kitty kat at the foot of your bed. Aunts who think you are the best girl ever. You are loved and Heavenly Father has a plan for you. Trust in that."

Now it is my turn to be the mom. I will cuddle them when they are scared. Let them talk through their feelings and listen to them just like I wanted to be talked to and listened to. They are human and deserve all of the love and respect I can give them. They deserve to be heard and validated.

Please note: my mother is not the same person she used to be. She has changed immensely for the better and would never tell or treat her grandchildren the same way as she treated me. I love her very much and our relationship is very strong and supporting.

Reflections of Being Sick - Am I looking into this too much?

I just got over being sick for a week. It was horrible and I wont give any details but I would not suggest you loss 7 pounds that way.

Being sick allowed me some time to rest. My mind was a blur and I could not function in anyway. The only thing for me to do was rest. That meant no books, no computer, no TV. I couldn't focus on a single item of information and any movement made me nauseous.

After a few days of nothing, I started thinking:
Why was I sick?
Why had I attracted this?
What was my body reacting to?
What was I in need of?
Was I suppressing any emotions?

The life coach in me needed answers. I wouldn't be me if I hadn't asked and I would be denying myself growth.
So I started delving into every aspect of my life.
Was I happy where I was living?
Did I enjoy my home?
Was I truly grateful for what I had?
Did I really have the faith to follow the path God has for me?
Where do I want to live?
What is the next step in my relationship with my husband?
Am I ready for it?
Am I choosing the right things for my children?
What is my goal for them?
Am I really focusing in on our family's goals?
What is being neglected that truly matters?
What are my fears?

These are all really inspiring questions and they all received small amounts of thought and focus. Now that I am well I will look into these answers more thoroughly. I know that the answers are inside of me and God will inspire me. The real question is am I ready to listen?

Home Is Where The Heart Is

I am trying to figure out where my heart is. I must say after this week, I had such wonderful support from my family, that I feel we need to be closer to them. I am apart of a unique family, both my in-laws and my parents are wonderful people, parents and grandparents. Both my husbands parents and my own are different than they were when we were growing up. The difference is shown towards our two boys and towards us. They are patient, loving teachers. They are very supportive. Although nobody is perfect they certainly love being grandparents. I realize we live too far away for them to be able to be grandparents to our children very often. They would love it if we lived closer. To be honest, I would love it too.

After pondering this move, I realize how important boundaries will be. I am reminded of the realities of living close to family and I know that setting up walls for me and my family are a must.

So in conclusion I know that if we do move it will be after prayer, careful consideration, and communicating boundaries. All of the tools, lessons and gifts that I have learned from Maia and You University have lead me to a place where I am grateful for the life I have. Wherever we live it will be exactly where we are supposed to be.

Service and Good Works

Today one of our church classes was on service and good works. I love the scripture that pertains to a time for everything. I know that my service and good works is devoted to my children and things I can do with my children. Today was a wonderful reminder of that. Later in my life I can devote towards a different variety of service and good works. I will try to bring more service into our home. More kindness, more nurturing, more quality time. I love these sweet reminders of how much family means to me.