Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I had a phone call with a coaching friend of mine. We primarily discussed the importance of grieving and feeling your emotions. At the end of the call my husband had walked into the house to tell me of some tragic news concerning a dear friend of mine.
Both of these events brought some tremendous insight on the grieving process and how we treat ourselves during different emotions.
It is amazing to me that we just shove our emotions aside. We don't allows ourselves to feel. We are taught from a young age to "stop crying", "shake it off" or "get over it". Later on we enforce what we have been taught by making ourselves feel guilty for our emotions. Or worse, we make ourselves believe we are "fine".
I realized today it is okay to grieve. It is okay if I don't want to talk or if I do. We all react differently. Acknowledge those emotions, feel them, learn from them, and move on. We will all do those steps within different time frames but it is important thatwe go through those steps.
Every event in our life is teaching us something different. We may not learn the lesson right away. But when we do, we grow.
I know you are looking at the title saying "Where's the recipe?". I was eating a smoked salmon salad today and realized how much I love salmon. Why?
It reminds me of home. It reminds me of Oregon and all the beauty. Most importantly, it reminds me of the wonderful fatherly figures I had that took me fishing and spent time with me. I had a few. My biological father was absent from my life but I had lots of men who filled in.
My Papa Lee (my mother's father). He was there for the majority of my childhood. He gave me noogies (noogies: briskly rubbing your knuckles on the tops of someone else's head) out of affection and was always taking me on interesting excursions. He showed me how to cast my line for the first time. He taught me to bobbers. He bought me my first fishing pole. He was the man I always had around in the background. Not the cuddly type of grandpa but he was there for me.
My best friends father, Dave. Dave would take me and his daughter, Misty, fishing. I don't know if he enjoyed it. Heck, I don't know if I enjoyed it until now. He taught us how to use fishing lures. He tried to get us to dive for them. Misty eventually did but I was always a wuss. There was no way you were going to get me to dive into that cold lake. Who knows what kind of monsters were in there. Dave took us on multiple hiking expeditions. I specifically remembering him telling us we would only be on a couple mile hike and it turning into a 10-15 mile hike. OUCH! That did happen frequently. He was willing to take us and spend them time with us. That is what mattered the most. I still wear his Portland Marathon shirt when I workout. The neck is stretched out just like all of his shirts were and it reminds me of him.
My mother dated a man, Buzz, when I was in middle school. He was grouchy but I loved him very much. I remember him taking me to fish salmon on the Hood River. Those times were some of my fondest childhood memories. I remember the happiness of my mother and Buzz. He was very patient in helping me perfect my casting technique. I remember going to the store to help him get lures: Fox #4. I remember him showing me how to clean salmon and how to beat suckers on the head. I don't know if I would like to do that now but I was willing to learn at the time. He could be very brusque but he would give me hugs and tell me he loved me. That is what I remember the most. I miss him very often.
The last man that has had an effect on my fishing is my Dad (he is in the picture ). He married my mom when I was 14 and adopted me when I was 18. He took me fishing of all kinds: deep sea, bass, trout, salmon, steelhead and other names I can't remember. He taught me how to back up a boat into the water. He taught me how to drive the boat. He was with me when I caught my first fish out in the sea. He was with me when I first feed the fish (vomit) out in the sea. He showed me how to fillet and smoke salmon. My Dad also has shown me how to shoot, clean, and butcher my own meat. We have had so many wonderful memories together that I could write a book. It has been a roller coaster with him but my Dad has been the most consistent and loving father a girl could have. He tries very hard to be there when I need him and listens to me when I have something to say. I know that he loves me and I couldn't ask for more.
